I am me,
The small gentle little girl who hides behind her hair,
And the one who craves the spotlight and lets herself shine,
Run and soar in the morning air.
I am me,
The timid nerd behind her glasses,
And the girl who can easily challenge masses.
I am me,
And I am fire,
You can roast me,
But I will burn you after you try,
From the splinters of your pitiful fire,
I will change it into a forest fire,
For I am me.
I am a star,
Not here to be pretty though,
I am burning, writhing and raging yet dying,
But I will live longer than mankind,
For I am a star.
And I will be remembered as the star,
With people trying to study me and making me a part of their memory and textbooks,
A millennium later.
For I am me,
And not afraid.
I am fire,
And not afraid to burn the world down to build it again.
And I am a star,
I exist not to look brighten up someone's night,
But to be gazed upon as a powerful, unreachable and invincible body.
I am ME....
Dear younger me, What were you thinking? What were you actually thinking when you first said, “I wanna grow up! I wanna grow up to do this, or that It’ll be super fun”?
Each birthday you were so happy, each anniversary of tiny little things making you happier about how old you were getting. How you had been doing a single thing for so long? Did it never strike you that you now have less years to do it? So much time, yet you still aren’t perfect it…. You lost so much time, but still aren’t at the top, haven’t achieved success unlike many others. Or maybe you just haven’t worked hard enough because you said I do it when I get older, but when you get older you loose interest or your will because you aren’t perfect and you didn’t work for it before, you let a little slump take it all from you and never bothered going back to normal. And maybe just as you grew up, so did your normal. Each birthday you were so happy about getting older, counting day to your birthday (I’m still doing that different reasons now though, it’s in 8 months 2 days by the way). I’m not so happy about it now, I became a teenager last to last year, just reflecting on how happy my childhood was. And now, cribbing that I want to be little again. WHAT WAS I EVEN THINKING? Seriously growing up is hard and bad and pretty stupid, just as stupid as the little me, I don’t want to be 14 now, just want to go back to the little me.
Today, the 10th of January marks my 2 year anniversary with wordpress and it’s been wonderful, I’m so grateful for all the friends I’ve made here on wordpress and so I thought of something special, could not come up with anything, but recently I’ve had an obsession with rhyming random things to make completely random couplets so I thought why don’t you all give a word and I’ll rhyme on it (I will suck btw, I’ve irritated ALOT of my friends with that)!
SO I haven’t have much time to write this post, but there are so many people I want to thank but I know I will miss, so thank you guys for being part of me on this journey, it’s been a memorable 2 years and I’m so happy for them.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (We are 17 hours in when I’m writing this at the moment and it feels miserable not happy but I guess this year has 364 more days and 7 hours to prove it’s worth).
Here are some things I did in 2021 and some things I’m going to change in 2022.
Broke friendships with many friends, made better ones. Realised that when you text people back without emojis they get offended. Realised being a perfectionist isn’t always the best, it’s best to cool off and relax at times. Learned not to let other’s comments get to me, cause hater’s gonna hate so snakes and stones don’t hurt my bones anymore because people throw rocks at things that shine. Decided to continue being Jack of all trades cause “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”. I didn’t post much in 2021 or work on my WIP, but I’m going to try in 2022. I read 354 books in 2021, my goal is to read less (around 100 books) and focus on studies more this year. I got obsessed with Taylor Swift last year, I plan to lessen my use of Taylor Swift puns, because I’M FEELING TWENTY TWO (yeah after this one, my friend PV made me a Swiftie, it’s nice to have a friend) I irritated a lot of my friends by rhyming like an idiot in our normal convos, not gonna lie, I rhymed a lot last year and it was fun, and my new hobby is to rhyme unnecessarily (won’t do that now because it’s annoying). I also realised that I can be so casually cruel in the name of being honest but the thing with people is that sometimes we just get lost in translation. Felt different emotions which I never felt before (LIKE BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL AND MORE BETRAYAL). I need to study seriously in 2022. I tried bullet journaling, it went splendidly (for 4 days :|). Ooo and I went back to school offline for few months, that was fun. I reconnected with my old friends. I also watched friends, it’s a great series. By the way I’m starting a series on equality and some minor patriarchal things we don’t notice in our daily lives (like Taylor said f the patriarchy). At the end of 2021 I got really obsessed with Tokyo Drift, that, still hasn’t changed. And so many more things that just slipped my mind but meh. And I’m really really going to try my best to post because I have SOOO MANY IDEAS for posts and I bet you think about me when I don’t post (I’m going to try to keep that the last the Taylor Swift pun of this post, I need to calm down).
AND THAT’S IT I NEED TO JUST STOP
I also did a short series on my instagram about 3 things that I felt once, just in 2021.
And yeah that’s a wrap. I wish you all a verryyyyyy happy new year and I wish you the best for this year, I hope this one is the best one yet. (And not 2020 too)
Soaring Firebolt 