I am me, The small gentle little girl who hides behind her hair, And the one who craves the spotlight and lets herself shine, Run and soar in the morning air. I am me, The timid nerd behind her glasses, And the girl who can easily challenge masses. I am me, And I am fire, You can roast me, But I will burn you after you try, From the splinters of your pitiful fire, I will change it into a forest fire, For I am me. I am a star, Not here to be pretty though, I am burning, writhing and raging yet dying, But I will live longer than mankind, For I am a star. And I will be remembered as the star, With people trying to study me and making me a part of their memory and textbooks, A millennium later. For I am me, And not afraid. I am fire, And not afraid to burn the world down to build it again. And I am a star, I exist not to look brighten up someone's night, But to be gazed upon as a powerful, unreachable and invincible body. I am ME....
Dear younger me,
What were you thinking? What were you actually thinking when you first said, “I wanna grow up! I wanna grow up to do this, or that It’ll be super fun”?
Each birthday you were so happy, each anniversary of tiny little things making you happier about how old you were getting. How you had been doing a single thing for so long?
Did it never strike you that you now have less years to do it? So much time, yet you still aren’t perfect it….
You lost so much time, but still aren’t at the top, haven’t achieved success unlike many others.
Or maybe you just haven’t worked hard enough because you said I do it when I get older, but when you get older you loose interest or your will because you aren’t perfect and you didn’t work for it before, you let a little slump take it all from you and never bothered going back to normal. And maybe just as you grew up, so did your normal.
Each birthday you were so happy about getting older, counting day to your birthday (I’m still doing that different reasons now though, it’s in 8 months 2 days by the way).
I’m not so happy about it now, I became a teenager last to last year, just reflecting on how happy my childhood was. And now, cribbing that I want to be little again.
WHAT WAS I EVEN THINKING? Seriously growing up is hard and bad and pretty stupid, just as stupid as the little me, I don’t want to be 14 now, just want to go back to the little me.
Today, the 10th of January marks my 2 year anniversary with wordpress and it’s been wonderful, I’m so grateful for all the friends I’ve made here on wordpress and so I thought of something special, could not come up with anything, but recently I’ve had an obsession with rhyming random things to make completely random couplets so I thought why don’t you all give a word and I’ll rhyme on it (I will suck btw, I’ve irritated ALOT of my friends with that)!
SO I haven’t have much time to write this post, but there are so many people I want to thank but I know I will miss, so thank you guys for being part of me on this journey, it’s been a memorable 2 years and I’m so happy for them.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (We are 17 hours in when I’m writing this at the moment and it feels miserable not happy but I guess this year has 364 more days and 7 hours to prove it’s worth).
Here are some things I did in 2021 and some things I’m going to change in 2022.
Broke friendships with many friends, made better ones.
Realised that when you text people back without emojis they get offended.
Realised being a perfectionist isn’t always the best, it’s best to cool off and relax at times.
Learned not to let other’s comments get to me, cause hater’s gonna hate so snakes and stones don’t hurt my bones anymore because people throw rocks at things that shine.
Decided to continue being Jack of all trades cause “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”.
I didn’t post much in 2021 or work on my WIP, but I’m going to try in 2022.
I read 354 books in 2021, my goal is to read less (around 100 books) and focus on studies more this year.
I got obsessed with Taylor Swift last year, I plan to lessen my use of Taylor Swift puns, because I’M FEELING TWENTY TWO (yeah after this one, my friend PV made me a Swiftie, it’s nice to have a friend)
I irritated a lot of my friends by rhyming like an idiot in our normal convos, not gonna lie, I rhymed a lot last year and it was fun, and my new hobby is to rhyme unnecessarily (won’t do that now because it’s annoying).
I also realised that I can be so casually cruel in the name of being honest but the thing with people is that sometimes we just get lost in translation.
Felt different emotions which I never felt before (LIKE BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL AND MORE BETRAYAL).
I need to study seriously in 2022.
I tried bullet journaling, it went splendidly (for 4 days :|).
Ooo and I went back to school offline for few months, that was fun.
I reconnected with my old friends. I also watched friends, it’s a great series.
By the way I’m starting a series on equality and some minor patriarchal things we don’t notice in our daily lives (like Taylor said f the patriarchy).
At the end of 2021 I got really obsessed with Tokyo Drift, that, still hasn’t changed.
And so many more things that just slipped my mind but meh.
And I’m really really going to try my best to post because I have SOOO MANY IDEAS for posts and I bet you think about me when I don’t post (I’m going to try to keep that the last the Taylor Swift pun of this post, I need to calm down).
AND THAT’S IT
I NEED TO JUST STOP
I also did a short series on my instagram about 3 things that I felt once, just in 2021.
And yeah that’s a wrap. I wish you all a verryyyyyy happy new year and I wish you the best for this year, I hope this one is the best one yet. (And not 2020 too)
I’m a star
I am burning, I am writhing and a part of me is dying, the innocent one, the little kid.
I’m powerful, and my light shines even after years.
I’m a star.
I am integral for life, and under my light you all hide.
No I’m not big, but that just means I’ll shine longer. Yet I’m not small, nor is my shine or my glow, you aren’t close enough to see me shine and you never will be.
I’m a star.
I’m so far away you’ll never reach me, you’ll never know me well enough.
I’m a star.
I am not pretty because I’m raging and burning, and I AM ON FIRE.
I’m not meant to be pretty but I do so in your eyes, for that beauty, a sign of my strength and sedulous work.
You’ll study me like the mysterious fireball that I am aeons later.
You see my past and reflect on it, dreaming about my present and my future, a pity you won’t see it, you say. You won’t be there.
I am a star.
FIlled with hydrogen, my words can make you dizzy and lose control.
I am a star.
I’m filled with helium and you know, I’m deathly.
I am a star
What you see is a flicker of what I was, a twinkling past.
I am a star.
I look beautiful to you, even in my darkest times, and my presence, a relief.
For I am a star.
For I am a star.
A twinkling, burning, dying star but I’ll live longer than you.
I’m the same as many other stars, just different in size, yet so different, but that’s something you’ll never realise.
I am a star.
You’re seeing and admiring my past, because my present you’ll never see, you won’t be worthy of seeing it.
I am a star
To those who think stars, not lovely, well they aren’t meant to. Because they have the power to burn you.
I am a star.
My past and my shine can light up a dark night.
I am a star.
I’m burning, and it’ll take me a second to destroy you.
I am a star.
And a single star like me, can turn your world upside down.
And then into nothing.
How are you all?
It’s been so long, since I’ve been active here. So recently in my last poem, I talked about me being a star and many people asked me how and here is how.
Just some random things I mentioned that have facts behind them-
- A pretty basic one but obviously starlight reaches us after years so we see the past, even the light of sun is from the past.
- The larger the stars are the shorter they live so tinier stars shine longer.
- Obviously stars are pretty far away, you can’t reach them, just like some people, you want to get to know them, but they are so far away from you even when you talk to them everyday.
- And stars are on fire so yeah.
- All stars are made of hydrogen and helium so basically they have the same composition, yet every star is different in it’s own way (atleast to me).
- Hydrogen gas makes us dizzy and helium is a deathly gas.
- Stars obviously don’t twinkle.
- Stars have a longer lifespan then the entire existence of human race.
Somehow I feel this post is wayy too sciency now😂. (I would make one of my friends so proud with such facts😂)
Anyways once again I wish you all a Merry Christmas!!
“What if we all are just mere stories in a dreamers head, what if life is one in our own head, what if you are just a villain in my story, my dream, a nightmare I hope I don’t recount again.”-Aanya
Illusions, dreams, nightmares, hallucinations. What if in reality that’s all our life is? Or what if maybe, we dreamt it all up and woke up to find none of it is real.
What if you were never really my friend, just a villain in my story. What if you hadn’t been my friend all along, what if you don’t exist and I had dreamt you up.
What if me annoying you was your nightmare and it didn’t happen, what if I was so lost in my dreams I thought you responded but you didn’t.
What if you dreamt me up, or about me, and then forgot it wasn’t in real life. What if you imagined me something I wasn’t just for the sake of your sanity.
What if you didn’t exist and I imagined it all up, all of you, all of everything and I am indeed insane in another world of reality.
Nothing is real in this world except me, or is everything real except me. What if this universe is paradoxical and I belong to a parallel one, what if one day you all turn against me, different creatures and I am the only one left, and such so in another universe, where people like me turned against one of you.
What if you all are coded to tell me you’re real and yet fill the same confusion in my mind thinking we’re the same but we’re not.
What if you want me deluded, to turn me into something I’m not, or maybe just to throw me out of your way.
Maybe you didn’t mean to hate me, maybe you were taught too. Maybe I should forgive you cause you were never really who you were, or maybe cause you didn’t exist, like now you don’t, atleast not for me.
What if all we see in this world is just our worst nightmares mixed with reality, or perhaps the good in our dreams mixed with the brutality of this world.
The world is just an illusive vision, or maybe we are unwritten characters in a writer’s mind. Maybe we are characters in a book and people are reading us like we read or maybe people are watching us in a movie hall eating popcorn, without a care in the world, with kids screaming about everywhere.
What if there is a larger and greater species than us, and to them we are just as tiny as atoms and exist like the amoeba, unseen yet studied upon by the curious.
And at the end what if nothing is real but I am, all alone in this universe just a single soul, with no assurity so as to what life is……..
I lost control over my most prized possession,
You were it,
You were my slave,
Your flowed in my veins,
You were the blood,
Thicker than the water of my worldly goods,
I’m lost in your mystical world,
Trapped by all the walls you built around me
You haunt me,
You tempt me,
You scorn me,
You hurt me,
You control me in your fingers,
Like a switch switched on and off,
Or a puppet in a puppeteer’s hands,
You cajoled me into being confident,
Till you crushed me,
And destroyed me,
Nothing is same anymore,
I lost my authority over you,
I can’t control the words anymore,
My only power in this world,
To the one who helped with my first steps, Taught me how to ride a bike, Aided me on my first hike, And sneaked me chocolates when I was grounded! All that junk food in the car, Even when we didn't have to travel too far, All the fun we had, When I was little, And whenever I got mad; Thank you for being there, All my life, Have a happy birthday papa!
Just came outta my hiatus to wish a Happy Birthday to my dad (though obviously it’ll be epic, cause I exist😆)
Happy Birthday Papa!
(PS Thanks for sneaking all the chocolates during morning practice 😉 )
So I wrote a poem which is directed to those specific people who expect me to know everything because I’m a scholar, who mock me when I don’t know the answer, and the ones who treat me like an answer key, they are just so infuriating……….
And those teachers who pick on you when no one can answer just cause they don’t like you……..
Oh and ‘Je ne sais pas’ means I don’t know.
Je ne sais pas, Am I the only one in class? All those questions, Directed at me when no one can answer.... Je ne sais pas, When you ask me the answers, Is it weird that I can't answer? Just because I'm a scholar doesn't make me a genius, I'm human you know.... Je ne sais pas, No, I don't know everything in this world, And yes some facts do surprise me, That too weird for you? Je ne sais pas, Yes I do learn in class, Is that astounding for you? I don't have google in my head, I can't possibly know something before the teacher teaches it, Whoever the teacher may be, Even if I know it, I might not understand it, So I do need to listen in classes like you do, Not a super human people... Je ne sais pas, Why is it so surprising, I'm a human, There are many things I am not aware of, It's normal, Just accept it.... Je ne sais pas tout, C'est la vie pour toi, At the end of the day, I'm a human, I don't know everything, Stop exclaiming when I admit it, I don't care what you think, I have questions, About studies, About life, And so many more, I'm not your answer key, Because many a times I myself don't know, I don't care what you think, When I tell you that, Because the truth is, Je ne sais pas la réponse, Je n'ai pas peur de l'admettre.....
Do you find it annoying when people expect you to know everything just because you’re good at studies?
Stay safe, keep reading!
Soo basically me and my classmates finished our VIVAs yesterday, and yeah they weren’t too great most of us didn’t study and take it seriously, so I had written a poem for exam prep cause my teacher asked me too, and now I dedicate this poem to them (and me).
To all the current members of “Apna kaam banta bhad mei jayi janta” (yes that is the group name, can you believe it?) and the ex members who left the group saying that they would prepare for exams (we all know you aren’t preparing drop the act yar) and to the members of “The ones who must not be named” (we couldn’t decide a name, but this is a whole girl’s group so it’s wayyyyy more civilized) this one is for you (not you Ritika we know you study).
Exams around the corner, Worry in our minds, Stop moving around like a mourner, Go study or you’ll be behind! You are a bud, Which needs education to bloom, Don’t fall in the mud, And meet your doom! Prepare and revise, That’s what matters the most, Exams are a blessing in disguise, So in the end you can boast! Study for your exams, And they shall be fun, Research the diagrams, You’ll need to learn to be number one!
So yeah guys pad lo seriously, and with that note, I’m gonna go
How are you all?
What have you been upto the past few days?
Yeah the title is a bit boring I guess?
So basically I wrote two poems for my school assembly few days ago (as in it was yesterday xD )
So I thought I’ll post them here, the first one was about exam preparation and I decided not to post it, but might, like IDK if I should, but this one is……
Well you’ll read what it is………
Also I changed my header!!!!!
Thank you for voting and your opinions everyone!!!
Tons of deaths, Tons of progress, A war fought here, Peace bought there! Our world goes through stages, With tons of changes, The fools don’t know, What many undergo! Things change in our country And in our world, Be a well informed global citizen, And help our world!
Yeah it was super cringy, IK
Anyways, given that I am super lazy to update my divider to match my new green shade (its a duller and darker shade than the previous one oof), I’m just gonna end it here and go to sleep!
So if anyone wants me to post the boring exam one I will, for now I bid you all adieu, stay safe, have a good night (or a morning, afternoon or evening, or whatever you have)!!!!